Hindsight

Yesterday I wished I’d had time to develop the difference between real guilt and false guilt or what some psychologists call objective vs. subjective guilt.

Real guilt is when we can name a law, social standard or Biblical teaching that we have specifically violated.

False guilt or subjective guilt: is an uncomfortable feeling or regret, remorse, shame or condemnation that we experience when we have done something that we can’t put our finger on. 

False guilt is this free floating anxiety that can be caused by:  Unrealistic personal expectations, a sense of inferiority, or social pressure.

One of the largest causes of false guilt is poor conscience development as a child.  Dr. Gary Collins in his book Christian Counseling writes, “When the home is warm, predictable and secure, and when there is more emphasis on approval and giving encouragement than on punishment and criticism- then the child knows what it means to experience forgiveness.  But when there are poor parental models, and /or moral training which is punitive, critical, fear-ridden or highly demanding, then the child becomes angry, rigid, critical and burdened by a continuing sense of guilt.”

He finishes his article with this statement, “Remember that two good ways to learn about forgiveness are to practice it and to experience it.”

The first step is always, “Do what you can do!”  Practice forgiving and you’ll get better at accepting forgiveness which will help you eliminate guilt.

Personal counseling for guilt can be extremely helpful if you experience constant guilt from poor moral training with your parents.

Trinity Ministries Inc. here in Visalia has some really helpful counselors that can assist you in conquering the guilt dilemma. 

God bless,

Pastor Ed